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SPH Beat Down for Your Sad Little Loser Dick

SPH
SPH isn’t what I had in mind when you picked me up at the bar. You got me drunk enough to think going home with you was a good idea. But when you dropped your pants, I became sober in an instant and I couldn’t stop laughing!

I admire bold, strong men. You were quite a bit more submissive than I usually go for, but all those shots fixed that. It must have been something for you to work up the courage to talk to me. Your Jack Danial’s courage met my Slipper Nipple inhibitions.
The alcohol made you cute enough to forget about my husband waiting at home. My shirt was off before we made it over the threshold. Then I dropped your pants and stared. Things started getting less blurry as I focused. I didn’t realize that SPH losers could have delusions of grandeur, but you did!

SPH Moron Gets Tongue Lashing for His Audacity

When is it going to get hard? Is that as big as it gets, for real? I can’t imagine a universe where that dime-roll dick is even functional. I started laughing and gathering up my things to leave. He begged me not to go. “You couldn’t pay me enough to touch it, let along fuck it,” I said.
“Could you please keep talking about it, though? I have money. I can pay you and all you would have to do is talk about it.” He handed me a Benjamin. I told him he would have to do better than that if he wanted me to deal with his worthless SPH dinky.
He handed me two more which bought him a half an hour. I flayed him with every caterpillar cock euphemism I had ever heard, and then I started making them up. He started panting as the SPH got more graphic, and his needle dick started dripping. I had no idea that his little pea sized testicles could even produce precum.
He couldn’t even jerk it proper. He rubbed it like a scared teen wondering if he’d found the clit. When he came, he jumped back like it scared him. I gave him my number and told I’m always willing to get paid to talk about his little fellow. It’s not cheating wife phone sex if I’m only making fun of his loser dick, right?
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